Slice of India

I think I am elligible to write blogs like this now.
I love my country but yet I choose to live in another
So here is the mockumentary of the events which unfolded
during my last trip back to motherland.

1. I was disappointed that we havent been divided properly.The archaic divide like religion,regional,caste,creed,financial,political dont seem enough to suffice our massive population.We need to be also divided more on themes likes colgate,close-up or Dabur laal Dant manjan user,Reliance user or Tata-indicom user,Maruti 800 users and Non-Maruti 800 users,Rupa and VIP (wink) and so on.
2. Irrespective of how many times I return back from from IG airport the cops think
   I am carrying excess of alcohol or some contraband from Duty Free.(I wonder if Vijay Mallaya has been using a lookalike to promote Kingfisher Beer) . You can very well see his reaction.
   
3. I was really impressed as we are still able to identify the real issues . For example,Teli samaaj(community) was able to identify that agitation against usage of word Teli in new movie Kaminey was more important than supporting Poor Gangu Teli's family who committed suicide because of drought situation.I mean some guy commiting suicide whats the Big Deal ?
   
4. Apparently 25-35 years back aliens conducted a dangerous experiments on Indian females.These hapless ladies were secreatly impregnated with alien chromosomes (or whatever ) and they had these special kids.All the females who were using videshi brands like Garnier and L'oreal gave birth to creative directors who envisioned "Reality " T.V shows and the ones using Desi Brands like Shilpa Charcha Bindi went on to be mothers of those who created "Talent-hunt" competitions
   which explains flood of reality and talent hunt shows on Indian Television.
5. And guess what united the whole country ,"Rakhi Sawant Ka Swayamvar".Kudos to this lady.We all love to hate and admonish her and it was surprising as we found that an alien conspiracy overshot NDTV imagine TRP rating because we all hated it unanimously.Who would watch it anyway ?
   
6. A talent-hunt competition is being held to scout for F1 team from india and all auto rickshaw drivers are allowed to participate as FIA saw immense potential in their maneuverability.Who knows or Pappu or Narasimhan might be popping champagne bottles. Felipe Massa criticized this competition saying it is unfair as Indian rickshaw drivers undergo rigorous training on Indian roads.
   
7. Eli Roth(Director of Hostel) and James Waan(Director of Saw)have been vying to sign Varun Gandhi for their movies after Quentitin Tarantino declared he is find of the decade after his fiery speech in Pilibhit.Rumor is that Inglourious Basterds will be remastered with Varun Gandhi replacing Lt. Aldo Raine which was previously played by Brad Pitt. Mr. Gandhi apparently asked Tarantino to shut-up after which Tarantino has been showing suicidal tendencies.
   
8. In another new development apparently Sharon Stone seems to have hired top notch lawyer Ram Jethmalani to fight Shiney Ahuja case. Sharon seemed pretty keen on signing Shiney Ahuja in Basic Insticts 3. Stone apparently said it Mr. Ahuja could have taught Mr. Douglas a few lessons.
   
9. Another Indian making it big in international forum was RSS chief Pramod Muthalik, the firebrand crusader who painstaking efforts in Managalore Pub incident has been widely appreciated in international circles. LeGoBaD International (Lets-Go-Back-to-Dark-Ages International), headed by Iranian Premier Mahmoud Ahmadinejad appreciated Mr. Muthalik's effort for continuosly spearheading efforts to strive to push modernization and liberalization back bring back Dark Ages back to world.Mr.Muthalik accepted the honor humbly and reaffirmed his commitment to bring Dark Ages to India.
   
10. Baba Ramdev has been decided to be sent be as official candidate of India for the office of United Nations Secretary-Genera after Shashi Tharoor. He has shown tremendous grasp of subjects be it matter of Politics,Medicine,Social awareness,Law,Entertainment,Fitness..list goes on. Baba ji seemed to have answer for everything be it swine flu,laws for acceptance of gay or even castigating reality shows. Now thats what we call Raam-BaaN .